Let Go

I think there are two main reasons behind the revival of my blog: firstly, the easy accessibility of internet and secondly, the letting go of the person behind all my struggles.

I've not contacted her ever since the start of this year. Thats because I've already told myself to forget about it and treat it like a dream. I locked it in my subconscious mind. But the irony here is that we stay pretty close to each other. So one day out of coincidence/fate/probability I met her again while she was flagging a cab. I felt nothing. It's empty. It's void. Things have ended. I knew it ever since she asked me to sing 轨迹 to her when we last met.

haha dun get me wrong here. we never get together. we cannot be together. But at that time I thought impossible is nothing. I've tried means and ways to make it happen. It never did. I was dreaming I guess. I couldn't overcome the barrier between us. Yea maybe it's really true that impossible is nothing. That's why it couldn't happen. Haha.

Although I've locked up this part of my memory, the fatigue resulting from all that I've done can still be felt. I'm tired. Maybe that's why it always seems as though I can't be bothered or lack of initiative. But now thinking back I dun seem to regret anything that I've done. Rather I feel that I could have done better. I think I have difficulty expressing my likings for someone. It probably results from the fact that I've been living in the absence of my parents since primary one. Sigh I may look tough/thick-skinned/dao on the surface but what lies in me is just the contrary. Well I know many won't believe it. She din either lol.

She's now attached I heard. I'm sincerely happy for her. Liking someone is not about possessing him/her. It's about having the other party's best interests at heart and wishing him/her happiness. I cannot provide her with the happiness she wanted and therefore I pray that she will meet someone who can. I'm contented as long as she's happy.

怎么隐藏我的悲伤
失去你的地方
你的发香散的匆忙
我已经跟不上
闭上眼睛还能看见
你离去的痕迹
在月光下一直找寻
那想念的身影
如果说分手是痛苦的起点
那在终点之前我愿意再爱一遍
想要对你说的不敢说的爱
会不会有人可以明白
我会发着呆然后忘记你
接着紧紧闭上眼
想着那一天会有人代替
让我不再想念你
我会发着呆然后微微笑
接着紧紧闭上眼
回想那一遍你温柔的脸
在我忘记之前
心里的眼泪模糊了视线
你已快看不见...